In the past couple of weeks I've been reflecting on a lot of things, and especially the last 18 months of my life...
In June 2012 my darling, beautiful nephew passed away aged just 18. He was diagnosed with a condition called Lissencephaly as a baby and part of the condition meant he developed epilepsy. He choked during a seizure and was gone. His parents made the decision to donate his organs and in his death he saved the lives of two young people.
It took us a long time as a family to come to terms with the loss, and I know that my mother in particular still suffers greatly with her first born grandchild being gone. I think of him every day, and especially over the last couple of months.
In February I went for a routine eye test and was admitted into hospital when the optician found an abnormality in my right optic nerve. Lots of tests and needles and a particularly painful lumbar puncture followed before I was diagnosed with a rare brain condition called Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. I have been lucky, after the lumbar puncture brought my pressure down to a 'normal' level and a few weeks on meds, I have been largely unaffected by this condition (with the exception of some particularly nasty headaches and migraines).
And then last month my rock, my role model, my mother was diagnosed with womb cancer which had spread into her stomach. After an exploratory surgery we were told the tumour was too large to operate on and so she went through a low dose of chemotherapy this week. All being well she will have a full dose next month.
It feels like many times this last 18 months that my world has imploded and each time has been such a struggle to keep going. I think my writing helps. I don't always allow myself to really feel the pain and upset and I try to keep fighting on for the sake of everyone around me. Putting pen to paper allows me a release I otherwise do not get.
The made up characters on the page are filled with parts of me; my emotion and my thoughts and they allow me to get it all out of my head in a way I can make sense of.
Danny Boy was for my nephew, and I am plotting a new book which will be for my Mum - and myself and my family. I hope it will help other families who have found themselves in our positions and let them know that they are not alone.
Thank you for reading and for your continued support.
In June 2012 my darling, beautiful nephew passed away aged just 18. He was diagnosed with a condition called Lissencephaly as a baby and part of the condition meant he developed epilepsy. He choked during a seizure and was gone. His parents made the decision to donate his organs and in his death he saved the lives of two young people.
It took us a long time as a family to come to terms with the loss, and I know that my mother in particular still suffers greatly with her first born grandchild being gone. I think of him every day, and especially over the last couple of months.
In February I went for a routine eye test and was admitted into hospital when the optician found an abnormality in my right optic nerve. Lots of tests and needles and a particularly painful lumbar puncture followed before I was diagnosed with a rare brain condition called Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. I have been lucky, after the lumbar puncture brought my pressure down to a 'normal' level and a few weeks on meds, I have been largely unaffected by this condition (with the exception of some particularly nasty headaches and migraines).
And then last month my rock, my role model, my mother was diagnosed with womb cancer which had spread into her stomach. After an exploratory surgery we were told the tumour was too large to operate on and so she went through a low dose of chemotherapy this week. All being well she will have a full dose next month.
It feels like many times this last 18 months that my world has imploded and each time has been such a struggle to keep going. I think my writing helps. I don't always allow myself to really feel the pain and upset and I try to keep fighting on for the sake of everyone around me. Putting pen to paper allows me a release I otherwise do not get.
The made up characters on the page are filled with parts of me; my emotion and my thoughts and they allow me to get it all out of my head in a way I can make sense of.
Danny Boy was for my nephew, and I am plotting a new book which will be for my Mum - and myself and my family. I hope it will help other families who have found themselves in our positions and let them know that they are not alone.
Thank you for reading and for your continued support.