It will be the first time I don't speak to her from the airport for her to tell me to have a great time but to 'be careful'.
I actually can't put in to words how much I ache for the woman who seemed to be a pain in my ass growing up but who became, genuinely, the best friend I ever had.
It wasn't until my mid twenties until I came to realise how alike we were with our little eccentricities and as I've grown older I see her sneak into my reflection in the mirror more and more each day. In her final months she became horrified as she saw her own mother looking back at her in the mirror but I take such comfort in seeing similarities to mum in mine.
I am excited about my holiday tomorrow but I am sad too. I want more than anything to share my stories and pictures with her. I didn't make it to her grave today as I had hoped to but I will bring her a souvenir back to place there.
Don't be sad that I cry for you mum, be proud of yourself that you were such a wonderful woman that my heart aches for you and to talk to you again.